transfusionem | •daybreak inbox

[ Rex doesn't believe in any sort of higher power (gods and whatever obvious exist, but they're just powerful entities, not important) but he thanks them in some sort of nebulous way. He's killed a lot of things and a few people, but never someone he cares for so deeply. He knows, without a doubt, it would drive him insane. He'd break. He'd just end. The last drop of Rex would be gone. It'd be the same as being dead, except he'd have to keep walking around.

Her response is suspiciously submissive and her dumbfounded look makes it clear she's as surprised as he is. He breaths heavily down there, fingers flexing as he comes up with a plan. He's caught between protecting himself further or restraining Adelaide. He opts for a stronger barrier, one that takes more time to prepare. Did she listen to what he said because the blood is wearing off? Or because he said it? ]

...Sit down. Please. On your hands.

[ He starts to stand, slowly, carefully, waiting for another attack at any second. He wants to mop up his blood- thankfully the barrier is putting pressure on the wounds for him and stopping more from leaking out, but there's already far too much for comfort when locked in a room with a vampire. ]

Tell me what you're thinking.

[She finds herself obeying, sitting down as soon as he says to. She tucks her hands underneath her once the order comes in, staring up at Rex as he stands.

The scent of blood is stronger now, and the taste is still on her tongue. She wants more. She didn't have enough. It's not fair she had to stop, but she had to listen to Rex.

For some reason. She doesn't want to, though.]

I don't want to listen to what you tell me to do. Why am I doing what you tell me to do? It doesn't make any sense.

[She takes a breath, letting it out with an irritated huff.]

You smell really good. Your blood does too - and it tastes good. I want more. I want to drain you dry, but you're not going to let me.

[ 'You're not going to let me' more or less confirms that he has some sort of control over her. It's an unexpected side effect, but all of it has been. He wants to dissect the situation in depth, but this is really not the time or place. ]

Because I'm being perfectly reasonable.

[ That's the reasoning he's going for now, at least. It's almost certainly not the case, but it'll do until he can work out something better.

Rex has not read Peter's Evil Overlord List, but he's going to stick to Rule 48 anyway. It flexes his hands some more and all the blood already out of him swirls into a sphere, which he plops one of the mugs the inn so helpfully provides. It cleans him up and- ]

So you know that if you follow me, I'll make sure you get what's best for you, not necessarily what you want. Right?

[ He puts the mug next to her, backs up a bit and- ]

You can have that now.

[ It's not likely having a taste of the real stuff will dilute what she's taken of his phantom material, but it's going to help his foundation for getting a good mindset out of her. He has some degree of influence over her, but who knows how much? Better she wants to follow orders too. ]

And while you do, think carefully- what will be better for you. Drinking me to death now or following me and getting much more with my help.

[ He kind of feels sick at the idea of weaponising a friend, even if he refuses to use the word 'friend' in his head despite how loud his heart is, but... it's not a bad idea. ]

No, you're not.

[She might have to obey him, but that doesn't mean she has to agree with him. There's nothing reasonable about him at all!

She huffs, watching the mug, not moving to take it until he says she can. She takes slow sips, mulling over everything. There's still a part of her screaming to drain him dry, to make him hurt, to enjoy making him hurt, but that part is quieter than the part that has to listen to him. That wants to obey.

She finishes the blood in the mug, trying to think things through. Her head is the farthest from clear it could be. Like her thoughts are all jumbled together and incomplete and she doesn't know how to get any focus back. Slowly, things seem to be getting clearer, but...

The phantom blood still lingers, coloring her thoughts.]

I don't know.

[The answer is still sullen, as she puts the mug down. She wants to throw it at Rex, angry that she has to listen to him, but she doesn't. She can't.]

What does what's best for me matter? I'm just going to end up dead again anyways.

[ She might if he tells her to agree with him! But that seems like a poor idea, he correctly identifies for once. She at least seems to follow the intentions of his orders rather than the literal wording- she didn't smash her face into the mug because she wasn't told she could stop sitting on her hands, for example.

It says a huge amount about Rex that he finds her statement that it doesn't matter what she does because she's going to die difficult to argue against. It is, however, a good sign that he wants to argue against it. He will only apply the argument to her and not himself, of course, but a few months ago he'd probably have shrugged and agreed. ]

I know it's the weakest answer possible. [ But it is also the only one he can think of. ] But because I like you.

[ He's taken a seat across from her, distance enough he thinks he could pull off a quick spell if she makes a move. Looking her dead in the eye with his incredibly dark eyes. ]

[It's very good he doesn't do that, because that would make things so, so much worse. Adelaide already hates that she's obeying him - not being able to think for herself would just be the icing on the shitty cake.

She presses her lips together, keeping her eyes on Rex. Her gaze doesn't linger on any one spot, bouncing around from the would on his neck, his hands, his eyes, the spot where that glow had come from. Eventually, Adelaide's shoulders relax, and she meets Rex's eyes.

He likes her enough to want to keep her around, huh?]

I didn't know you liked me so much.

[It's teasing, with the hint of a laugh around the edges. Slowly, the phantom blood is wearing away, leaving Adelaide as just herself.

It's definitely a good thing he didn't give her very much of it, or this whole thing would've been much more painful.]

Well. [ Moving from pointing out he'd be a tasty snack to the teasing that is more like her. Despite it all, the ludicrous situation they've found themselves in, Rex still finds the time to gain a bashful glow to his cheeks and rubs the back of his neck briefly. ] I do.

[ He feels like there should be some sort of dramatic thing he can say or do, some set of words that will make everything okay- but he'd never find them no matter how long he thought about it. So he's just left with that. ]

[Adelaide laughs - this entire thing is so ridiculous. She tried magic blood that ramped everything up to one hundred and nearly killed Rex in the process. He doesn't seem to be too sore about that, though, and she has to admit there was something exhilarating about just letting go, so she's...not going to apologize.

She doesn't even really feel guilty, unlike how she felt when biting Toki. Maybe the guilt will come later, but for now she just has to laugh about how absurd everything is.]

Well, I like you too.

[The words are easy to say - and they're completely true. Adelaide does like Rex. She likes spending time with him, and she likes getting to know him. She knows she's barely scratched the surface, but...

It's been nice, and she knows he's unlikely to hold this little tussle against her.]

Gotta say I wasn't expecting that to happen.

[ Honestly, Rex probably wouldn't hold it against her even if he didn't consider himself wholly responsible. Not once, from childhood watching his mother kill or the blood on his own hands, as he felt anything approaching hate or resentment to his enemies. Things are as they are. Circumstances make things occur. The worst person in the world (2nd, after him) has a reason they're that way.

In her case, it's because he's a miserable waste of skin who shouldn't have even bothered. Everything he does that's just trying to help causes so many problems. How on Earth is he supposed to save the world? Is the Hero Medal fucking broken? Is he so horrendous a human being merely scanning his heart ruined it forever? It's a serious concern! He'd just been thinking the world needs an evil bastard until now.

All this builds up in his head, pitch black high-pressure smoke that is blown away by the gentle breeze of her laugh. Why is everything so hard? Why is sometimes something easy enough to make him lower his guard long enough to get sucker punched?

He laughs as well and it goes on for a while, until they transition into sobs and his hands cover his face. ]

[Adelaide doesn't know what Rex's thinking - probably wouldn't be able to piece it together even if she could see his thoughts. She doesn't know about the blackness that weighs down on him, how he views himself as something foul and twisted.

She has some ideas, though, of what might be weighing him down.

She scoots closer to him on her knees, until she can reach out to him. She rests a hand on his head, stroking his hair gently.]

Rex...

[She lets out a breath, blowing her hair out of her eyes.]

It's okay, Rex.

[Whether he believes her or not is another story - whether the words will help is another story. She just doesn't want him to be upset, or to blame himself for what's happened. Nothing bad has happened. They tried something new and it didn't work, but that doesn't mean Rex has failed.]

You didn't do anything wrong. I know you probably think you did, but trust me, you didn't do anything wrong.

[ He flinches when her hands apply a delicate touch to him. He hadn't in battle, not even before that smiling madman inside him came to the surface. But it's cruel, to accept care and concern from her after this.

He gasps in a deep breath and removes his hands from his face, resting on his knees. But his head stays down, staring at the floor as he contemplates if this should be when he gives up entirely. But he knows he can't. He can feel the medal's tiny weight on his chest and how it has the same weight as billions of people. ]

I almost made you a murderer. It's not okay.

[ It doesn't occur to him saying that gives the implication he'd rather have let her kill him than kill her to protect himself. He would. He promised to protect her. ]

[She doesn't pull back when he flinches, though she wonders for a second if she should. She doesn't want him to think she hates him, though, so she instead scoots even closer. She hesitates for a moment, before gently tugging Rex down so he can rest his head against her chest. It's awkward - there's a lot of Rex - and it's not like there's a heartbeat he can focus on - but she doesn't want him to pull away.]

You protected yourself.

[Even if he hadn't meant to, the medal had done its part.]

You fought back and you made me stop. [He had, and that counts. That's important.] ...And besides, none of us are going to get through this without getting blood on our hands.

[The end of the world is coming up, and Adelaide has no illusions she's going to be escaping it without killing something. Or someone. That's just the nature of the beast - and on top of that, she's got no choice in the matter anymore. She needs to get blood from somewhere, and she'd rather get it from someone she knows can stop her.]

[ Rex feels more pathetic than ever, that he's the one that needs comforting after this when it was surely so much worse for Adelaide. But he's not pride enough to reject it anyway, sliding off his seat onto the floor to make it easier. To stay in that embrace. Taking slow, deep breaths enough to make him slightly dizzy. But it's that or cry- despite his sobs, he staved that off. He knows he's too big, and too pale, and too stupid and grim and awkward and... the list goes on. He doesn't deserve to be held, to feel safe for a second, but since when as he believed in justice anyway?

It takes a while of silence, but his arms ever so slowly rise, hooking around her so his fingers rest on her shoulders from behind. ]

I... like being close to you.

[ It might be a sudden swerve of a topic, muffled against her silent chest, but it floated out of his mouth by way of his heart. ]

The worst thing I could do to you... is stop you from being who you are.

[Adelaide gives Rex the time he needs, staying quiet to let him sort out his thoughts. She keeps a hand in his hair, and she wonders how she ended up here. This isn't what she thought her life was going to be. She never knew how little she knew about the world, but she was unfortunate enough to find out.

Maybe if she had found out another way, she'd consider herself fortunate, but becoming a vampire isn't a pleasant experience.

She's not expecting what Rex says, but it makes her smile. It's not like he can see it from where he's tucked close, but she smiles all the same.]

I like being close to you, too, even if things never go the way I'm expecting.

[She hmm's softly, thinking for a moment.]

You've been good to me. I don't think...I would feel as safe as I do here without you.

[ Rex has never considered having a normal life. He has always been seeped in the magical world. And even for those like him, he's been strange and isolated. Did he ever think his life would be anything? He was content to see tomorrow. No dreams, no hopes, no goals. No future.

Her heart might not be beating, but his is. Slowing down, his quiet panic passing. It is cruel and it is wicked to allow her to feel safe. If she'd said those words not long ago, he'd have dismissed them immediately as her simply making an error. But after the reminder of the boy he used to be, he recalls the one and only thing he ever wanted to be. ]

All I ever wanted... [ It almost hurts to do it, but he pulls himself from her chest. His face is a warm pink, not quite the usual red hot blaze of embarrassment and his black eyes are soft as he wipes at his eyes with one finger. ] All I wanted was to be the sort of person that in times of disaster when I arrived people would think 'it will be okay now' and feel at ease.

[ Instead, he's always been a symbol of doom, an ill omen that comes before a disaster. A black dog. ]

You believed me when I said I'd protect you, right?

[She can hear the slowing of her heart, which is... It's a relief, but it's one of those things that makes her remember she's not human anymore and never could be. She tries not to listen to the heartbeats of other's - it's usually still faint and easy to ignore, but when she's this close to someone it's much harder to pretend she can't hear it.

But in this case, instead of making her stomach churn with how inhuman it makes her feel, it's comforting. He's calming down, and that's all that matters in this moment.]

Of course I did. [She had no reason not to, despite barely knowing him. He had just seemed so sure of it, and...a part of her was desperate. She said too much too a stranger out of frustration, yeah, but she'll admit she was scared. Scared of being a threat, scared of being killed just for existing. Rex was the first person who offered to protect her. Not even Richard did that, after turning her and deciding Daybreak was the best place for her.

Rex was the first, and she believed him.] And I still do. You haven't really done anything that would make me think you were lying.

Good, because I was not. [ It wasn't what he was truly worried about anyway- he was concerned that he would incapable and she knew it. ] And it was not lip service either.

[ He would honestly do just about anything for her safety, even perhaps things she'd rather he didn't. But that's the role he has assigned himself, self-sacrificing and self-punishing. Now, at least, there's some semblance of a noble purpose it's directed at. That unfathomably giant goal of holding up the world by himself makes him want it to be too much, so he can finally snap and be done with all the struggle.

But... Maybe, one step at a time. ]

If I can protect one person...

[ One arm had stayed around her when lifted his head- the other moves around to the back of Adelaide's head, gently encouraging her to rest against his chest now. Feel his heart as well as hear it, soft and slow. Certain and unwavering. ]

Or two or three...

[ ...Maybe he can protect everyone else, one step at a time. ]

Yeah, I figured that much out. [It's said with a small laugh, almost self-deprecating. She wasn't expecting to rely on Rex as much as she had, but here they are.

He's been there when she needed him most, and that's...a lot. Maybe it shouldn't mean as much as it does, but it means a lot to her. She thinks without Rex she'd have done something much worse by now than biting Toki.

Well...maybe that's not true. Maybe things would have been okay and she's not giving herself enough credit, but it's still true she was able to get help from Rex when she was so sure she had fucked everything up.]

I think you can.

[She rests her head against his chest, closing her eyes. It's...nice. Being held. Being safe.]

Don't push yourself too hard, but... You're not alone in this, either, okay?

[It's not quite a promise to protect him, but it's close. Adelaide knows Rex is probably more dangerous than she is, but...

He's only human. She's not. She doesn't want to lose him because he's so fragile.]

[ Rex spends a while just holding her, stroking the back of her head. Part of it is that he's just plain exhausted, but honestly it just feels good to have someone who doesn't want him to let go. ]

It's hard to remember that sometimes.

[ He's been alone for a long time. Even surrounded by others, his instincts still say he is. And when he examines it consciously, he's still in this alone, because that's what chosen one means, doesn't it? It doesn't matter who he meets and how close they get, it's going to be his fight in the end. ]

I'd... appreciate if you'd remind me, now and then.

[ Just to keep up appearances. Obviously. Not because his heart is about to shatter from the pressure. ]

[Adelaide can't remember the last time she was held like this - possibly never? Maybe once, when she was a baby, her parents had cared enough to hold onto her. Maybe Richard had, when she was turned, but she can't remember any of those possibilities. She doesn't want to give things up.]

Well, you get so used to the way things have always been, you don't realize when they've changed.

[That's all the more reason to keep reminding him. She was already thinking about it, even before he asked. She nods against his chest, smiling even though he can't see it.]

Of course I will. You'd get caught up in your own head without me.

[ It certainly feels strange for him. He used to be so affectionate and trusting with everyone- so certain, that everyone deserved love and it was his duty to make them feel it. He thought that part was entirely dead, but there are a few drops of life in it after all. Just for a few people.

Her words hit home so hard for a second he almost believes things have changed, that he's no longer a lone stray. He has to remind himself he's the same emaciated, abandoned dog as always. He's just found some scraps to feed on. It doesn't matter what he forces himself to think though. This is the exact moment Rex starts to love Adelaide. It's a pure, soft, thing still devoid of any physical or romantic element. He just wants her happy and safe. That's all. Is that so wrong?

Obviously not.

Why does it feel that way, though?

Why doesn't he want to release her, until she wants to be released? Selfish. Evil. A horrible thing to do to her. He should die and let her find better friends. ]

I suspect you are correct. So I'll be relying on you.

[ It's a lie. He can't and won't rely on anyone, for anything. But he has to say what sounds right for this fraud or he'll be found out. ]

[She gets the feeling he's already caught up in his own thoughts, that he's managed to over complicate things already. She doesn't know for certain, but it's a feeling she gets.

It's easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. It's easy to pick things apart until you yourself are falling apart at the seams, and it's easy to forget you're not alone.

She places a hand on his chest - right over the medal - and pushes herself up so she can look Rex in the eyes. The look on her face is soft - not quite smiling, but the feeling is there.]

I won't let you down.

[Whether he wants her to be or not, she'll be there for him. She has to be. He's already done so much for her, she can't imagine not returning the favor. She can't imagine letting him struggle on his own - because he has been struggling, she feels. She can't say for certain, has barely any idea of what he's been through, but someone who's been fighting so much...

She's made a promise, and she's going to keep it.]

Now, we should probably clean things up.

[ For most, they'd probably not notice Rex's reaction to having her hand touch where his medal rests. A tiny tension, a turn of his eyes to check on her intentions. And a pounding of his heart, as if she had pointed a gun between his eyes. The medal is his life. No, more important than his life, which is a grim and empty thing that should have been swept away long ago. No matter how often he doubts or fears or worries or questions... he's got a reason to be here.

The terror in his heart fades the moment he looks back into her eyes. It's likely to fade soon enough, but in that moment, he can't imagine her wishing him harm. He can still imagine her harming him, because, well, a little while ago she was trying to kill him. But she didn't really want to and that's important. ]

Oh. Yeah. You don't think they'll bill us for the lightbulb, do you?

[ 'cos he made it explode. ]

[She notices the tension - it'd be hard not to, with the way his heart beats like a rabbit's. She glances down at where her hand rests - the same place that glow had come from when they were fighting. She can feel something there, firmer than flesh, and she wonders what kind of secrets she's hiding.

But she'll ask about it later. For now, she just gives Rex a lopsided grin, and pushes herself back onto her heels.]

They probably will. It's not like we can say it just burned out.

[It very much exploded.]

But if that's the only thing that broke, then we're pretty lucky.

[She pushes herself to her feet, offering her hand out to Rex.]

[ There aren't many people who can truly help Rex to his feet more than help him balance, so Rex takes the opportunity to accept a helping hand that can actually help. Once he's back on his feet, he brushes himself off. ]

I think we put a crack in the wall with my spine.

[ He points over his shoulder at where he had been thrown at the wall. A fine crack at the epicentre of the impact. ]

Incidentally, if you have a solid grip on the extremity of something you are able to swing with one hand, it's best not to let go and instead beat them against a solid surface. Like shaking the dust off of cloth.

[ He mimics the motion, though he grunts halfway through. Now the danger has passed, his aches are starting to appear. ]

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